In the last week we celebrated the victory of the Paralympics, the greats and their success.

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A Saturday not a Friday blog. Mother seems to be dying…

The moment is close. In a few hours the night will begin to stretch just that little bit further over the shy body of the day. Will mother choose this turn in the angle of the sun as her signal to die? Will she now pass on? Twelve hours, night to day, day shrinking to night.

There is a reflection of the captured moon in the glass of her French windows, the double glazing holding back the heat of the home, the flurry of voices coming to check, coming to see if she still breathes, hoping her pulse is not racing as it was only a few hours before. The shadows of trees are releasing shadows of leaves in the grounds, crisp, withered, they fall, connecting with earth with the sound of a faint, dry husk.

There are more of them to follow, each marking the passing of a loved one as the planet plummets into an avenue of dreams. Mother, hold still, wait. Just wait a little longer, so we can help share your next move, and together celebrate your life.

 

I wrote this at Sarah Salway’s writing class on Wednesday, which was focused around Wabi Sabi ‘the quintessential Japanese aesthetic.’ Nothing is perfect apart from the imperfections which make it so. In some ways Life, far from perfect, because of death, and yet death makes it so, so precious.

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We mourn for the people of Aleppo caught at the centre of multiple wars, and the bombing of the aid convoy…

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My dear brother did arrive, and we were present at Mum’s bedside together, attentive, loving, waiting for her…

she wants to leave, she wants to be with Ted, wish her on her way and let her go…

I wrote last night, thinking of you close to dying, then having no call from the hospital I want to wish you well on your way. Then you open your eyes, and today begin to speak again, but it is difficult to understand you, to know what you want…I wrote: Whatever fragment of a person you may now be, you will be whole as you are reborn in spirit and reunited with your love…but no one can tell when this might happen…

 

Blog – Saturday 24th September 2016

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